Patriarchy is not about men. It’s about boys. It’s about those who are stunted and who cling to a wicked lie that some people are more equal than others.
Real men do not need to demonize women… or different types of men, for that matter, in order to gain respect. Real men gain respect by giving it.
The Sacred Masculine treats all women and all types of men as equals. Recognizing the inherent equality in others does not diminish us in any way. Only with the goal of real equality for everyone can we work together to change our culture.
And to change we need to share our stories. And we need to listen to the stories of others who are different than us. Especially when they are hard for us to hear.
I have been harmed and shamed by men. I have been harmed and shamed by women. I choose to take that pain and turn it into compassion for all people, in all walks of life. Women are the victims of a systematic problem that results in their physical harm and even death. If women are angry at “all men” for this, well… I can’t exactly blame them. I used to be angry at all men, too, because I grew up in fear of them.
One answer is for men to get together to ask ourselves tough questions… and to mirror for each other what it means to be a healthy, respectful, strong male. We need not own the anger of those who have been hurt by others and then make it all about us. If we do make it all about us then that shows where our wounds are, too.
Let us all heal our wounds! For there are far too many.