So I got back last night from my birthday Vegas trip. I had a BLAST. It was the best time I ever had losing money.

Here’s my trip in a nutshell:

  • I smoked WAY too much on this trip. But thankfully have gotten it all out of my system now. Cold Turkey, baby!
  • I drank just enough on this trip. Which is to say, all the fu***ng time. Stolli Collins was my drink. (Until they became DOUBLE Stolli Collins, that is!)
  • I won a little… then lost a little… then won a bit more… then lost everything. It was fun!
  • Four days is far too long for me to go without an orgasm.
  • Buffets suck twelve types of ass.
  • I love drag queens and fillet mignon.

We stayed at the Treasure Island, which was quite nice. I never did make it around to seeing the pirate ship show, as I was far too busy drinking and gambling, but maybe next time. If you go, however, stay away from their new buffet “Dishes”. We thought it would be safe as it was voted 2005 best buffet in Vegas. I suppose that  “best” doesn’t necessarily mean good as it’s just comparative. I guess all the other ones are really craptastic, hence bullet 5 above.

We traveled in between different hotels and their casino’s and I was impressed with a few of them. The Belaggio was among the most fun… as their casino had this game called “Match & Win: Chocolate Fantasy” which made us quite happy even as it decimated our pocketbooks. Supposedly a penny slot machine (to get the best odds and payoffs you had to play 300 credits at a time. Yo!), you were to match the many symbols which consisted of  pastries, cupcakes, a chocolate-covered strawberry, and the elusive bonus key. Match some keys and you get to go to the bonus round in which you bake cakes for bonus prize money. Between the lights, the sounds and the delicious looking cakes, every time you got a bonus round you just felt that the game was validating your very existence. (“Bonus round? I must be a good person! Thank you, Chocolate Fantasy!”)

We also visited the Paris which was beautiful. From the lit-up hot air balloon, to the Eiffel Tower replica, it was beautiful from the outside. Inside it sported a ceiling painted light a beautiful sky, and offered “outdoor” cafes and restaurants. But by far the most beautiful was the Venetian, which took the painted sky-ceiling to the next level, providing an artistic accompaniment to the faux town square, in which there were again “outdoor” restaurants, surrounded by beautiful “buildings” to give that feel that you were in the middle of a town-square in Venice. We ate admiring the beautiful “sky” and buildings, while actors performed their craft as juggling jesters, performers on stilts, and my personal favorite, opera singers in full costume, serenading us while we dined, either from the main level, or every once in a while from the buildings surrounding us… appearing in a window and singing to us below. The show was literally all around us. Very nice!

We also went to the Star Trek Experience attraction as the Las Vegas Hilton. I had mixed feelings about this one. I have been a Trek fan for many years, although in recent times have been quite sad to see it all go down hill. My best-friend, David, had been to the Experience before and had recommended it… somewhat, warning me that it was so “cheesetastic” that I would only want to go once, even though your $40 admission price (which allowed you to see both of the two attractions) was good for all day unlimited rounds. He was right. At one point I had to try my very best to suppress the inappropriate laughter response upon being “transported” onto the starship Enterprise and being told by a young man in a Starfleet uniform that we were no longer in the 21st century. The sets were great… (the Enterprise bridge was exactly as it was on the show…) but some of the actors made it beyond cheesy. The ride, though, was fantastic… a shuttle ride and phaser-fight with the Klingons… and then an encounter with the Borg. But yes, I only needed to see it once. At the end they showed me a picture that they took of me before the experience began (without telling me what it was for, mind you… the Hilton has terrible customer service… or at least their Star Trek area did). Judging that it was one of the best head-shots of myself I had seen, I had to get it… plus it’s the cheesiest thing I have ever seen. I’m probably going to crop-out the Trek stuff and just have a nice head shot… but in the meantime I offer it here for your enjoyment. Someday when I’m old I’ll look back on it and have a laugh…

    Click image for complete view.

    On my birthday we went to Lucky Cheng’s, which was a restaurant and drag show. I had a blast. The headliner (who lovingly referred to herself as “your show ‘Ho”) was quite talented and hilarious. Between the performers pulling people up on stage, the comedic lip syncing, and the nasty balloon animals it was definitely one of the better time’s I had out during my trip. And the food was FABULOUS. And the drinks were quite strong and tasty. (My standard drink of a Stolli Collins was changed for this evening to a raspberry Cosmo. Now I have TWO favorite drinks to dive into.) I definitely got the feeling that they were brand new in Vegas, as they were quite small (and NO ONE had ever heard of it… we asked our hotel and a few cab drivers about it and no one knew a thing! We were starting to think that it was a scam as David has prepaid for our evening over the web!) But small or not, I can see this place growing in the next year or two. I will certainly be going back.

    All in all I had a fantastic time, although I am so glad to be home. I missed my boys. Maybe Chas and I will plan a trip next year… or the year after that. It would have been more fun if we had been together.

    Now… back to work!